Tautology

I’ve never really written something on my tumblr buuuuut today was a very emotional day.  I guess I just need to talk.  I cried maybe about 932804 times today, visited one of my “grandma’s” (in quotations cause she isnt truly my grandma but she might as well be).  She’s 98 and she’s basically on her death bed, it was really emotional seeing her like this because I know how strongly her death will affect everyone around her.  I already lost my great grandmother this past July and I’m still a little too raw.  On my way to try to get up to visit her I didnt have the right amount of change to be able to get on the bus (if I didn’t ride the bus I would have had to walk for like an hour).  I was about to get off the bus when a middle aged lady told me she would give me change for the money I did have.  I thanked her thinking she would give me singles and then I could pay the bus man…. but nope.. instead she gave me the full bus fare that I needed ($2.35).  I tried to give her my 5 dollars but she refused to accept it.  I tried to ask the other people on the bus for change for my 5 so I could give it to her and she also refused and told me to sit down(at this point I had already cried once and again another time cause I’m a baby).  She told me that 2 dollars wont make her or me or any other person any more rich or poorer than we already were.  She said not to worry when I pleaded for her to take my 5 dollars but she refused again and told me to save my money and maybe next time when she needs some change ill be able to help her out…

I really hope I will be able to see her one day soon.